the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
