i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
