I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
