I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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