are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
