You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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