it hurts more in the daytime
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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