Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
