I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The best revenge is premature balding
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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