i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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