I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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