her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
