Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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