Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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