where does the pee come out of this thing
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
