saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
party gras won. party gras always wins.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
