hell yes lets make some ravioli
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
