butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
