fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont even know how to be here
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She bit a glass in half.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
