me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
