the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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