Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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