Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
