my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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