Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize