I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
