i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
