she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
