Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize