I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
