your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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