I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
