I want to have your abortion
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
