I think i sorta joined a cult last night
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
