I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
