I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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