alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She bit a glass in half.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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