At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
