I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
