Can i not drive my cunt home
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
