Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
