just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
