Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
