I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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