How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
