I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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