This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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