put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
