i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
