hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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