I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
