Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
