don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
