I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
