You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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