It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That accounts for only three of the penises
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
