I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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