i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
