ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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