I can't watch pbs sober anymore
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
