the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
