actually, I'm a sock model
just come out here and I will go home with you...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
