Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
