I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
